full fathom five

But you could be forgiven for thinking it was so. It’s been a long time between posts and there’s a good deal to report and a few things to celebrate.

On the professional front:

• In January I celebrated my first year of working for Cenqua/Atlassian (in August 2007 we were acquired by Atlassian). Working for Atlassian is much like working for Cenqua except rather than working with 7 really smart people on 3 cool products in a different time zone, I now work with around 150 really smart people on 7 extremely cool and increasingly well integrated products across 3 different time zones.
• This also means I’ve completed my first year of working from home. Home working has been a surprising adventure (and not always for good reasons - more on that in a future post) but I’ve survived and feel I’m now in my groove (well, one of them, anyway). Atlassian has also ramped up its European presence so I now have developers in my geographic region to work with.
• In May of last year attended my first Java One. I worked along side of the other Cenquans in the JavaOne trade hall demoing our products, talking with customers and networking with other nerds.
• Clover and Fisheye both won first prize Jolt awards! For those not in the know, Jolts are kind of like the Oscars of our industry. As a long-time reader and fan of Dr Dobbs Journal there’s a deep sense of pride I feel from being part of a team producing something worthy of a Jolt.

On the personal front:

• Today we celebrate our 5th anniversary of living in London. It was initially tough going but ultimately worth it. Moving countries always is tough, I suspect, but doing so during the worst part of the tech crash was not something I’d relish again. London is a fantastic and vibrant city which constantly surprises me - despite the seductive charms of the (for me, very accessible) cities Sydney, SF and Singapore, there’s no place I’d rather be right now than Finsbury Park, London.
• Wei Kiat recently celebrated his first anniversary of working at the British Museum. In that time he survived his first blockbuster exhibition, The First Emperor (ending on Sunday). Having someone on the inside with a thorough understanding of the events and celebrations taking place there has meant for a very culturally rich 12 months.
• In December we celebrated our 6th anniversary together.
• And finally, I’d like to announce to you all that I’ve decided to have my gender reassigned. Of late, you may have noticed my enlarged manboobs and assumed I’d been hitting the Krispy Kremes a bit too hard. Well, now I can now announce that this evening*, after several months of hormone therapy I’ll be going under the knife and will come out a new woman. Please kindly refer to me as Brenda Studman in all future correspondence.

* Tonight, 1st April, 2008 - April Fools day

In Java 5 there are the big ticket language improvements like generics, enums, autoboxing etc; and then there’s the more obscure feature of extending hexidecimal representation to floats and doubles.

Firstly I have to flag my absolute irritation with the Rising Australian Intonation (RAI). It’s like “California Valley Girl meets Little Aussie Battler”. It turns on its head the traditional UK rules of pronunciation where a rising intonation at the end of a sentence makes a question out of a statement – for RAI the rising intonation has no purpose yet suffers no existential crisis (at least for the speaker). To my mind though, RAI speech patterns sound a lot like the speaker is somehow seeking aproval or seems uncertain in the deliver of what they say – as if all they say is tentative and requires approval of the listener.

Many US speakers, particularly Californians, also speak with a permanent rising intonation so I’m hazarding a guess that it’s development is not unconnected with the greater traction US media has had in Australian popular culture over the last two decades. This is the price we pay for a decade of Friends re-runs, I guess. It’s also amusing to note that many British have detected a nascent RAI in their youngsters; with Neighbours and Home and Away blamed as the phonological communion wafer in that instance.

While we’re on the topic of Californian influences, another thing that annoys me, like, is like, when people like, say like ‘like’, like totally all the time. It’s a tired and hackneyed conversational filler, it takes about 30 points off your perceived IQ and it’s readily infecting Australia’s young. Australians: just give it up – it’s not native and it just makes you sound rubbish.

Another bizare pattern of Australian speech is the strange, contradictory, construction “Yeah, no, ....” or “No, yeah, ....” in response to a question. This pattern is not just restricted to the Vicky Pollards of our great continent, it’s perpetrated by all sorts. The first word can normally be considered social lubricant, the second normally addresses the question itself. When there is no question being responded to then its anyone’s guess the speaker’s disposition to the topic at hand.

There are many more attractions in this linguistic freakshow but I’ll save those for a later rant.

Wei Kiat found this amusing ramble on the back of a Thai fast food flier:

So next time you're in Stoke Newington and about to divorce, drop in to Lemon Grass

Finding good food London is often hard but never impossible. Consequently finding excellent food that doesn’t cost the earth is a real treat! I’ve recently discovered that I’m working in close proximity to a foodies heaven that would put many Parisien patisseries to shame.

When next in Waterloo seek out Konditor and Cook. They pride themselves on creating quality, fresh food at about the same price you’d pay for a much less fresh sandwich or salad at a Marks and Spencers. They source fresh English produce (sorry Australia farmers!) and use pure butter in most of their cakes. Their lunch menu changes each day and in three weeks of daily visits I’ve not once been dissapointed (although Wei Kiat may be well disapointed with my bulging belt).

I’ve also been told about, but yet to visit, the Anchor and Hope. It was gastro-pub (a term with which I have an uneasy relationship) of the year and, in true, chic-er-than-thou fashion, doesn’t take reservations.

I suppose there had to be some consolations for working in a suburb without a well developed high street (what, no Borders or Waterstones?).

Well I’m back off to finish my Konditor fruit mince tart.

Burp!

One of my favourite things at the moment is the HBO series Sopranos. I’m probably not alone in saying one of my least favourite things is dealing with IT recruitment consultants. Over the past few days, dealings with a recruiter has allowed me to reflect on the strange similarities between the two.

One thing that struck me about the Sopranos series is that everyone’s existences are predicated on lies. Every conversation is one where nothing is delivered as it’s meant, even to those most close to the speaker: Tony and his crew lie to each other about their observance of honour and family; Tony’s wife, Carmella, lies to herself about the goodness of her husband; Tony and Carmella choose euphamisms to describe the ‘business’ to their children and how they might ‘brush up against organised crime’.

Dealing with recruitment consultants can be a lot like that (minus the organised crime). Whenever I deal with thim I find my slightly cynical inner voice whispering to me what I really think they’re saying. Here’s a kind of transcript from my most recent encounter with one of them.

Mr Headhunter: It’s Mr Headhunter from Bum-fluff IT. What’s your availability and status?
Mr Developer: Currently available, looking for permanent roles.

Mr Headhunter: Would you consider a short term contract (4-6 weeks)?
Mr Developer: Sure, depending on the opportunity.

Mr Headhunter: [Clueless guff about the role and the company followed by…] For some reason when this role came up I thought of your CV.
Translation: This client bills itself as a “New Media” company; your first role was for a company with “New Media” in its title (if not in its projects); the CV database returned must have returned your CV first from a list of thousands through some tenuous Bayesian relevance.

Mr Headhunter: So you do have extensive New Media experience then?
Mr Developer: Well, I’d be lying if I said the majority of my experience was in that area but I did work on one highly interactive content management-driven international portal for an Australian NGO so I’m very comfortable in a New Media environment.
Translation: Do people actually still use the term New Media?
Mr Headhunter: You sound like you have the right skills for the position, I’d like to send your resume accross but I’ll need you to tailor it for my client’s requirements. I’ll send over an email with some points I think you should address.
Translation: Do you know how to spell ‘spin’?

So, into my inbox arrived this little gem of an email, complete with sentiment as sincere as one of those feel-good bank commercials:

Hi Michael,

> I reckon the XYZ Company role could be the direction you should be taking 
with your current situation. 
> 
> Please send me an updated CV highlighting all your new media experience...
> 
> Please make sure the following is evident in your CV:
> 
> extensive new media experience
> java , j2ee, web development, html, EJB, weblogic, struts, unix system admin, 
php,
...
... 

Obviously when Mr Headhunter cut and pasted this from his email to somebody else he either didn’t have the patience to remove the ’>’ quote markers or he used some email client like Outlook where quote markers aren’t obvious but are translated on my end by Yahoo mail. It pleases me to no end that he’s only thinking of my best interests.

Notice too how he asks me to tailor my CV so that “extensive new media experience” is evident even though I indicated, in the most self-promoting of ways, that New Media wasn’t where most of my experience lay? Obviously a man who eats spin for breakfast.

Mr Headhunter: So what did you think of… [yadda yadda]
Mr Developer: Well I very much liked… [yadda yadda]
Mr Headhunter: That’s great. So what were some of the questions he asked you, specifics would be good?
Translation: So that I can sell you down the river and maximise the probability of placing someone, I need to know all the interview questions he asked so that I can supply them to the next candidate I put forward.
Mr Developer: Oh, just general questions on what I’ve worked on in the past.
Translation: You think I’m that stupid?

Mr Headhunter: The client really liked you and thought you’d be perfect for the job and would like to take you on. He indicated, however, that he is having some internal budgetary problems and will have to sort those out first, I’ll call you on Friday afternoon to update you.
Translation: I’ll call you if there’s still a contract, if not I will ignore you and your phone calls unless you hound me.
Mr Developer: Sure, I look forward to it.
Translation: I have your number on auto-dial.

Needless to say there were budgetary problems, the contract fell through and I had to hound the recruiter to find all this out.

Mr Headhunter: Yeah, sorry I didn’t get back to you.
Translation: Who are you again? Oh, you, you didn’t make me any money did you?
Mr Headhunter: Yeah, that contract did fall through but don’t worry, since you interviewed well I’ve put this down in my records and this will be the start of a great working relationship.
Translation: Until the next cold call, you, whatever your name is.
Mr Developer: Yes, Please keep me in mind for any other opportunities that may come up.
Translation: Didn’t you say the same things to me last year?

It would be unfair of me to claim that all recruitment consultants are as bad as this buffoon. I’ve been fortunate enough to come accross a number of excellent recruiters such as Paul at Cautela-IT in Colchester and Carol McCormack from CCS Index back in Australia. I’m sure there are many others out there, I just hope I happen to stumble across them when looking for my next role.

One of the great things about Sydney is the ease of availability, cheapness, authenticity and freshness of oriental food. It’s taken a year but I now have a handful of places in London where I can go and find fresh and authentic oriental food for not a whole lot of dosh.

Here are some of the places I found. Bon apetit!

Oriental City’s food court, North London (Colindale), zone 4

For anyone who misses the buzz of oriental food courts in Sydney such as in Market City shopping centre or on Sussex St then this is a very fine substitute. There are about 8 stalls each selling specific types of oriental food – Hong Kong Dim Sum/Yum Cha, Malaysian, 2 Japanese, 2 pan-south east asian, northern Chinese and Singaporian hawker food. If you’ve ever enjoyed Hainanese chicken & rice then you simply must try the Singaporian stall’s version of it – according to my partner, a native Singaporian, their version is very faithful to the meals served to diners in hawker centres all over Singapore.

Situated right next to an oriental supermarket makes it convenient for a good meal and a place to pick up hard to find groceries like IndoMi instant noodles, Japanese mayonaise or Chinese egg custard buns.

Kingsland Rd, E2

This street in east London is full of tasty and cheap Vietnamese restaurants. So far I’ve only tried Song Que Cafe (#134) but with 6 different types of Pho noodles and more than 100 dishes on the menu it might take some time before we get around to trying other places in the area.

Chinatown

Well this is the obvious spot to pick up a good oriental meal but often the prices are well inflated and the food less than fresh (alas, not uncommon in many restaurants in London). I’ve had decent HK-style Chinese fare at Rong Cheng on Shaftesbury Avenue; enjoyed absolutely enormous Japanese curries and bento boxes at Misato on Wardour St; and stuffed myself on great Malaysian meals (go the Nasi Lemak!) in a restaurant whose name escapes me but is the only Malaysian restaurant on Wardour St.

Today I voted in my first election outside of Australia – for the London Assembly, London’s Mayor and the European Parliament.

I was suprised to learn that even though I am not a citizen nor permanent resident of the UK, because I’m a Commonwealth citizen I’m entitled to vote in all UK elections. It’s quite progressive and internationalist of the UK to approach elections this way, and no doubt, is referential in same part to its imperial past. Australia, would you offer the same rights to UK citizens?

There seemed to be few difference to the system of voting in Australia – political parties handing ‘how to vote’ cards outside, a registration desk, an electoral office representative getting shirty with absent minded voters leaving those same ‘how to vote’ cards on the registration desk. A similar range of candidates – from extreme left (Communist Party) to center left/right (Labour/Conservative) to slightly left of extreme right (BNP). Sadly, there were no looney parties this year.

A key difference is that voting is not compulsory in the UK. My local polling booth certainly seemed less busy than any polling booth in Australia I’ve ever been to.

Another difference is that voting occurred on a Thursday. In Australia elections only ever happen on a Saturday – no end of annoyance to the football crowds, as I recall. I can imagine the turnout would be dismal in this country if they held it on a match day.

Prior to voting, I must admit to some ignorance on what exactly the London Assembly is. Well, now my vote has been cast I know – it’s an assembly to form some checks and balances against the mayor’s power by, for example, altering his budget or investigating issues of concern to Londoners. Aparently I’m not alone on this.

Similarly, it seems many people have little idea what the European Parliament does. Most often it seems to be the perpetrator of a great many Euromyths – apparent affronts to British common sense whipped up by UK tabloids – of which my favourite is “Yogurt to be banned”.

For most people it seems the mayorial contest is of more importance and signifcance. We’ll find out soon enough if Ken, the tireless (but not ineffectual) self promoting Mayor of LondOn, is returned to office.